Parenting: 2 Months In
The delirium has worn off. Mostly. The adoration has grown. Absolutely. The routine is starting to reveal itself. We are just getting to know this beautiful boy.
At some point in the last two months, our neighbor Roberto told us that the first few weeks were the hardest. But that we wouldn’t remember it. It was true. We barely remember the first six weeks. We definitely don’t remember the first two.
I’m in love. With the gummy smile and the goofy baby talk. With his pensive stares and furrowed brow. With the growing strength of his long fingers that wrap around my thumb. With the way that he sits perched on his dad’s shoulders and intently takes in his surroundings.
On the heels of my first Mother’s Day, so far this trip has been both exhausting and wonderful. I wasn’t sure what parenthood would be like. Helping my parents with extended care of my disabled sister prepared me somewhat with bathing and diaper changing rituals, with the power of music and setting routines. Seeing so many of my friends take this step before we did also gave me some idea of the major changes in our future. But experiencing it first hand is a different thing.
As new parents, we’ve talked about how we are both finding the process of integrating the identity of parent to be a slow one. We are three. And that changes things small and large. Learning to navigate both the dog and the stroller on walks. Embracing the microwave for speeding up meal time. Tackling nursing in a carrier, so I can eat my own dinner. Saying yes and thank you when people offer help. Accepting that our days are consistently damp with milk and spit up and diaper leaks.
Last week, as Mother’s Day posts on facebook prevailed, I read an interesting NYT article about matrescence (the act of becoming a mother). In this common but nevertheless complicated life shift, we must integrate parenting into our identity, navigate a new family dynamic (in our immediate family as well as extended families) and reflect on our own relationships with our mothers. It’s worth a read:
if you follow me on instagram, you may have noticed that the feed has been taken over by this charming little man.
One of my favorite portraits of father and son above. As I am the one with the camera, there are many images of these two and not enough yet of me and the boy.